TRANSACTIONAL SELF
(2017)

 

Performance by: Anastasia Shin

 

You wake up.
You stand tall,
What you feel is tall,
With feet together, or hip distance apart.
Between a slump and overt effort, you stand.

 

You wake up.
You stand still.
This is not a conversation.
Encircled by dialogue, an internal plan.
Between a statement and a question, you stand.

 

You wake up.
You still stand,
By what you still feel,
With feet together, arms resting at the sides.
Between awareness and expectance, you stand.

 

You wake up,
You will stand,
And take the position,
No clean participation, or neutral side.
Between coercion and compulsion, you stand

 

You wake up,
You will talk,
Telling it all, tall.
With toes pressing, arms held by both sides.
Between a whisper and the wherewithal you stray.  

 

You wake up,
You don’t talk,
Exact gestures - enacted again.
Fingers triggered, arms held on both sides.
Between certainty and civility, you stand.

 

You wake up,
(and) You won’t say.
But it will still resonate,
The latent voice in each passed verse
Between action and passivity you wake.

 

You wake early
You don’t say (!)
Sincere touch, approximation
Palms stretch and fingers spread wide.
Between coercion and compulsion, you measure.

 

You emerge.
To find that, No.
This is still not a conversation.
Still encircled by inference.
In actuality with allusion you stand.

 

You stay up,
With eyes closed.
Through tactile transition...
- as limbs crumple, folded to the side
Between passivity and persuasion, you stay.

 

You wake up,
Your weight’s here
A subtle transference.
Shifted new conclusions with doubts aside
With assertion and contention, you sit.

 

You wake up,
You sip slowly,
Enhancing subtle action:
Conscious refutal-to not-quite-abide
Between conflict and a contact zone, you slip.

 

You wait here,
You sit tall,
With slight breath suppression
And heavy pressed assumptions, with practiced gaze.
Between choice and selection you sit.

 

You hold back,
The counter-weight
Undoing calibration,
To re-do speculation, arms held aside. Between decision and discrepancy you wait.

 

You wait up,
To show clearly,
How thoroughly entangled - 
Directed quasi-gestures, tell lies
Yet suspended-disbelief still abides.

 

You hold up
The stated reasons
Ambiguous relation,
To sit tall, with pressure from both sides.
Between the signified and symbolic, you state.

 

You hold still
You still wait,
Whilst further implications
Complicate past questions, with focussed gaze
With synchrony in silence, you sit

 

You wake up,
You will move,
In space now facing upwards 
With eyes closed and unclenched hands
In the linguistic and sensorial, you move

 

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Anastasia Shin (b.1987) Graduated from Goldsmiths BA Art Practice in 2011 and completed her Yoga Alliance TTC in 2009. Both practices inform the format of the work she produces, ‘reflecting the conditions we exist within’ and the changing language used to describe it. Recent work focuses on sociological discourses surrounding the ‘Wellness’ industry with specific reference to devices of ‘data measurement’. She was one of seventeen facilitators of the 12-month postgraduate course ‘School of the Damned’ – Year of the Ram in 2015 and is now attending the Piet Zwart Institute MFA course.